Chiang Mai (Northern Thailand) Tourist Guide


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Golf in the North of Thailand - Fore!
Some timely advice from a practicing addict

Text & Images : Merin Waite

Heaven?

Golf is a strange game. What other sport - if you can call it a sport - can you win at despite being poorer than your opponents. In what other sport is your own integrity brought into play with such frequency - those soul-searching moments when your foot just tickles the ball to an easier lie? What other leisure time activity takes such demands on time and finances - other than narcotic consumption - that it jeopardizes marriages and asks the sternest of questions of financial planning. The latter because, with the eternal optimism of the deluded, bad golfers believe they can become good ones by purchasing expensive equipment and taking lessons from charlatans who guarantee they will be 'in the 80s within 6 months'.

Yet, despite its manifold faults there is little quite like seeing your ball split the fairway and travel 270 yards down it. There are few things more gratifying than reading a green and potting from 20 feet. And there is absolutely nothing more satisfying than watching your fellow golfers take mighty swings with their 20,000 baht driver, whose head is the size of a tennis racquet, and not reach the ladies' tee. So there you have it - the conundrum of golf.

Back in Blighty golf tends to be the preserve of fat cat business men waiting for the next gravy train - and where better to wait than on the golf course or at the 19^th hole? Here in Chiang Mai it's a little different. The clubs here are not as exclusive as they tend to be in the class-riddled society of the West. What they want here is the green fee and that will do. The great thing about playing here is that there is the variety of courses and green fees to match. In Chiang Mai you don't have to fork out 2,000 baht for a round, nor do you have to hire a caddy. In fact for those wishing to take up this frustrating, time-consuming, expensive, futile activity - Chiang Mai is a perfect location.

For the rank novice I suggest a trip to Golf Avenue Chiang Mai in San Sai. It has a great driving range and golf pros hang around, ready to take you under their wing. Armed with a few lessons, and lighter a few thousand baht, you can take on the course. Golf Avenue Chiang Mai really is exceptional value and the nine holes are perfect for the beginner. Years ago you could play all day, going round and round and round, for 200 baht, now it is 250 or so for 18 holes but that's still a very reasonable price. The greens are getting better and better and the water hazards make it an interesting little challenge. You will probably need a few balls, so buy a bag of the oldest you can find at reception. Alternatively wait until you are half way round and be surprised when some shifty-looking fellow comes up and tries to sell you some stolen goods. In fact he will be attempting to get some money from the balls he's found from less fortunate golfers. You get the full social spectrum at Golf Avenue, from the 9 am Chang Beer and Krungthip cigarette brigade to decorous Thais giving instructions to their sweethearts. Another good thing is that at Golf Avenue you don't have to take a caddy with you - this can be a relief as, for the novice, it can be irritating when the caddy is better at the game than you. Having built up your confidence at Golf Avenue you might want to take on the Gymkhana Club course. This is also nine holes but much longer and more demanding. The Gymkhana Club is worth a visit anyhow. A spectacular tree provides a shady area outside the clubhouse which dates back to the days of the British Empire and the men and women who came to Chiang Mai at the turn of the century. The course itself is not terribly difficult but I always seem to manage to go wrong somewhere, and end up back at the club house drowning my sorrow in large bottles of Heineken, surrounded by octogenarians who might well have come here in the time of Queen Victoria. They're a very friendly bunch and exceptionally helpful. It is to their credit that they have resisted the lure of big bucks and kept this wonderful facility in the heart of Chiang Mai - it deserves our support. The last nine-hole course is Sandy Creek in the Sankampaeng district. I have not been there for some time but when I used to go it was just a golf course functioning in a housing development which had obviously gone badly wrong. That is to say the only thing they finished, and only just, was the golf course. They obviously had their priorities right. This little nine-hole course is pleasant and very cheap, a couple of hundred baht, and doesn't attract the army, or hordes of Korean tourists that occasionally descend on 'proper' eighteen hole golf courses; definitely worth a look.

It is time now to take on the challenge of the real courses, and there are plenty to throw your money at. Sadly you will have to fork out between one and two thousand to make a fool of yourself and on these grounds you might well consider that tiddlywinks or chess might be a better option. Still if you have money and time to burn you should certainly try Maejo Golf Course. Close to Chiang Mai, it is set amongst lush orange, pomelo and wood apple orchards and you can try and recoup some of the cost of the game by consuming as much 'in season' fruit as you can on the way round. The delight of the countless fruit trees becomes less enchanting once you end up inside them trying to swing your club to get your ball out. I have seen young men go in there and come out shadows of their former selves three hours later, and was it my imagination or did I once see a perfectly sane-looking individual savagely attacking a pomelo tree with an eight iron. In my opinion this course has the best views of any course in Chiang Mai. The vista of what I assume is Doi Suthep from the 15^th or 16^th is really spectacular. Happily you see this view before you fail dismally to get on the green which lies below you.

Golf etiquette is slightly different here than in England or America. There is little of hurrying play along; in fact at times it appears as though golfers in Thailand are deliberately trying to slow things down. At the Alpine Course - formerly Chiang Mai Lampoon - once you get behind the Koreans with their attendant caddies you could be in for a long afternoon. But they pale beside the 6-ball army boys who each have two caddies. It really does look like a troop movement as you see around twenty people converge on a green. If you can get the Alpine when there are not too many people, and it is easy enough, it provides any golfer with a real 'job of work' The fairways are narrow, the water deep, and the greens tricky. The signature Rose Hole is beautiful, but how easily love turns to hate as you plod once more to the divot pitted turf of the 'playing 3' box after yet another ball has gone deep into the 'well of despair'… that is, the little lake surrounded by roses in front of the green.

Birdie or bogey?

There are numerous other courses in and around Chiang Mai. The Royal is rightfully considered one of the best, closer to the city, and surrounding a race-track. The Lanna Sports Centre provides a very pleasant afternoon's golfing, and further out there is Green Valley. In fact the choices are wide and seemingly ever-increasing. All the more expensive courses have excellent facilities with reasonably-priced restaurants and bars, and most of the caddies are highly professional and know the greens very well. In all, there could hardly be a pleasanter way to waste time and money. So my advice to the victim who is approached by the golf 'pusher' is of course: 'Just say No!'. Don't get caught up in this massive scam to relieve you of your hard-earned cash. Yes of course you will get the odd high, but as time goes on the highs will be harder and harder to achieve, and you will never feel the same buzz as your first 250 yard drive or that long putt.

But, sadly, it is not illegal so I suppose we will continue to be hooked on it. Try and keep your fix to once a week and don't go for the highest grade material every time, give good old Golf Avenue and Sandy Creek a go just to keep your feet on the ground. You'll still get a buzz but it won't cost you quite as much.

Good luck. Fore!!!!!